borschtbelt

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Comedian Jeff Foxworthy says that humor is all around us--we just have to look for it. So with this truism in mind, I headed to the grocery store to find amusing food.

First stop was the dairy case, where one sign jumped out at me: LOL Butter for $1.99. We're a Fleischmann's family, so I was understandably unfamiliar with Laugh-Out-Loud Butter. A dairy clerk sensed my bewilderment and offered assistance.

"Nu, so tell me about this Laugh-Out-Loud Butter. Is it tasty?"

"What brand?" he stammered.

"LOL Butter--just like the sign says."

"The 'LOL' stands for 'Land O' Lakes,' Fresser. You've been spending too much time in chat rooms."

Undeterred, I ambled to the condiments & spices aisle--there must be something chuckleworthy there. I was not disappointed.There on the shelf sat ROFL'S Spicy Mustard. Now, I find mustard seed and turmeric as amusing as the next gourmand, but this condiment just didn't make me laugh. So I availed myself again of the intrepid grocery clerk.

"Please tell me, kind Sir--just what IS so funny about this Roll-on-Floor-Laughing Mustard? You know--the one with ROFL in the name."

"Fresser!" the clerk wailed. "The label says, "Rolf," not "Rofl" for heavens sake! Go clean those Coke-bottle glasses of yours. And cut down on the web-surfing. You really should get out more."

So, to paraphrase the song, I'm still looking for laughs in all the wrong places. Maybe I'll bring Foxworthy along next time...

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